The Blair Bitch Project
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Rant #1 The Bitchy Waiter

For anyone that’s ever worked in the restaurant business, I am sorry. As a fellow host/server/waitress I can totally relate. So let’s kick off this post with a good ol’ bitchin.

Ever heard that saying, that terrible awful saying that your boss, and/or peers engrave into your head over and over: "The customer is always right!"

No, the customer is not always right, the customer is most definitely not always right, and sometimes a whiny little bitch.

Really? You’re water has one too many ice cubes in it? Your food is 5 minutes over cooked? You’ve been waiting 30 minutes on your meal when in reality I just checked the clock and it’s been 13? You bitch.

I woke up 3 hours earlier just to get ready for you. I make sure that my uniform is dry-cleaned, steamed, and tucked neatly in for you. I give you everything you need in a decent amount of time, I slave over an 89 degree kitchen with bustling waiters bumping into each other to fight over who’s turn it is to use the computer for you. You want an extra soda? You got it. You want a dancing monkey? Sure. You want some female strippers popping out of your cake as we sing you our restaurant’s happy birthday song? I’m sure I can do that for you
I literally have to tend to your every fucking need just so I can pay next month’s rent on my shitty apartment. Your measly 15% tip contributes to my car note that’s 5 days overdue… or my 2$ drinks at Drix on Thursday nights with the girls. Do you realize that customer guest? 

Above is basically me angrily garnishing your meal because you somehow managed to piss me off. “HERES YOUR FUCKING CHOCOLATE.

My closing note is to all of you lovely people who have never worked behind the counter. The ones who blindly have no clue what the restaurant business entails and never stepped foot into a kitchen. Be kind to our waiters, they just got triple seated in the last 5 minutes with 2 families of 5, and a screaming baby with bad parenting. We are here to serve, we are here to make money, we are here to ensure you have the best time at our restaurant… but mostly for your money.